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| Im getting nuts. Look at me. |
Is it me becoming mature? Autistic? Or stressful?
I've been quite quiet in this 2 years, I am not as talkative as last few years.
I can't even laugh honestly.
Feels weird.
I became quiet.
Sometimes I don't even feel like talking, hanging out, eating meals with people.
I don't really know how to expand my conversations with my classmates,
but other than class and course mates, I can!
I can talk to waiters, promoters, strangers, even jaga very easily.
Lack of topics? Not really.
Face problem? No I don't think so.
This is my problem, but I really don't know how to solve.
I became a nobody in my class.( I do feel so )
Nobody cares even if I'm missing.
Maybe sometimes I speak too softly?
Or I am an unnoticeable person?
I'm too boring?
Speechless person?
But then other friends don't see me like that, that's weird.
They said I'm funny, crazy, and talkative.
But it's in the other way round in college.
How am I gonna have a friend?
I don't think I have any best friends so far.
All friends, good friends, but maybe not best friends who knows most
of the things about me, who keep in touch always.
Nobody will call me during holidays.
I feel lonely.
I am lonely since young.
I did try to do something..
I always wanted to ask people,
do you have a best friend?
I do have best friends but after graduating from secondary school?
We're all separated. I wonder, were we really that good?
Somebody talk to me automatically will really cheer me up.
Every time. Every time...
A simple "hey. hello.." is enough to make me feel happy.
No matter how, I'll still be trying.
3 comments:
I feel you. I am not that good with my secondary school friends too. They all have super logical mindset and do not understand how our craziness go. There's nothing wrong with you. Honestly I had some issue with the others in -2 earlier ago and for that time period I felt really down. Later on I slowly get along with them and I feel happy as long as I am with them, though no one in the class is my bestfriend. I've grew tired of that phrase because I realize people change. I feel that as long as I am content and happy, I am my own bestfriend.(Maybe that's really pathetic but I am still looking for any potential one!)
Just sharing my own story! Trying not to make you feel so down and probably I am not in any position at all to tell you these.
i ask dad before too :' do you have best friend?'
he said: 'not really'
this might be a 遗传. i thought.
we have too extreme faces that we put up.
but after years, i think it's bcos of we never really trust anyone, so until now i'm still confusing bout the definition of 'best friend'.
i don't really feel that best friend = ppl hang out with you often but ppl who knows you without meet/talks a lot. we don't necessary share all secrets but know each other limits and respect each other.
dear, we r just not those kind of fish which swims together in group.
Thanks Jack, it's fine, do share your stories. This is the purpose of signing up a blog what. :) AHHAHA maybe you're right, we ourself are our own best friend. Even your lover won't know everything about you right.. Aiseh, maybe they are right about friends come and go in different time, but sometimes I hope to get some calls from them, asking how are you.
Peijie, dad told me about that too. AHAHHAHAHA
Right, everyone has their own definition of best friends.
Yeah, I do feel so. Those people.... AHAHAHAHA i know who you mean. XD
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