No idea

HOHOO

HEHEHEHE
/// ignore me ///

Mua Meals

Ah, the lazy breakfast.
Eggs+onion+tomatoes+mushrooms.

Baked potatos with beans and cheese.

Lunch few days ago.
Been cooking a lot lately :D
Looks like someone is puking out pasta. HAHAHA.

Dinner.
MUAHAHAHAAA.

This is the Roast Eggplant recipe below but without pasta.
It's enough already man. 

HAHA diet meal research.

I haven't ate soooo much broccoli in my life.
Almost every day!

/// MEALS ///

I am controlling recently!!!
Loads of vegetables!!! Very into eggplants and broccoli this week!
Cause they are both pretty cheap, 50p only!
YES YES YES!!!

Blog to destress

A artwork for Jazz Spastiks by Oliver Barrett.

Been updating software and cleaning my desktop and folders.

Wow I feel so good right now, cause my folder ain't that messy anymore.

I changed my wallpaper after soooo long using my boy as my wallpaper.

HAHAHAHAHA.

(baby i will take more photos of you and use it...... XD)

STRESS

Seriously.
Too much stress for tonight and too much mood swing.
I can't help it, no one to comfort me no one can help me.

Oh man. I almost exploded.

My brain is so empty right now.
I can only listen to piano music right now.
I need to make some tea to chill. My eyes are going to burst soon if I don't to it.

productive days

Yeah its originally a girl. But it's boring.

So i changed it to a house.
MUAHAHA.

And the same day I did this.
Almost done.

And of course my assignments.
I want to finish this this few days!!!

i wanna own this look!!!!!

Almost done!!!

/// PRODUCTIVE ///


WOOO!!!! I feel so good this week, I've speed up myself in 3 days.
Drew 2 full page of illustrations.
Trying to get back my lines working, I used to be good in lines but now my skills are gone.
Have to pick up again, it's so hard to get back my skills. And my hand shakes a little sometimes.

Little baby

/// Faiz ///


What a busy Easter holiday and exam week for him!
Didn't catch up with him for quite some time, keep dragging one story don't have time to tell me.
I am still waiting baby. HAHAHA.

We both look so old recently.
Must be our sleeping cycle and stress. MUST BE.
By the day, this boy really looks like Handsome Squidward.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA. OMG.
I can't stop laughing. That eyes chin and mouth.
95% ALIKE!!! My gosh. too funny, I cant stop laughing. HAHAHA!!!

Ee Suen introduced me a site, 100 happy days.
The idea is to let you post a photo of what makes you happy everyday, until day 100.
She is doing this everyday and she said she can feel the difference, and somehow she feel happier!
Well yeah this site can let us cherish something everyday, and post it, remembering it.
This is good, and I just signed up for that.
I chose to use Tumblr to post my photos.
For some reasons I believe this could work :)
LETS DO THIS!!!

LINK to 100 happy days!

Off we go, Bristol.

/// Easter break x Bristol ///


Ah finally a trip out with a couple of friends, Csaba, Suhan and David.
Bristol is a youthful place, man, a city with colorful cultures.


So David and Suhan went off first cause I wanted to see a few lecturers,
so I went with Csaba. From Hatfield to King's Cross, then from there to Paddington
and get a train off to Bristol.
Oh my, we almost miss out train. HAHAAHA luckily we didn't.
The view along the journey to Bristol was wonderful.
So many huge farms full of sheep, goats and flowers. Geez, I haven't seen a huge
scale of yellow flower farms before, mostly green in Malaysia.
Super excited! 3 of us went with 2 bags (one backpack with a small bag) except csaba.
GENG LO. He really don't have much things.
Sometimes I really wish I have a smaller smart camera. Man, my lens and camera eat up a lot of space.

And so we reached in the evening and had a really really long walk to our motel, Rock & Bowl Motel.
It's pretty good, located in the center of everywhere!
We booked a 4 bed dorm together, just like what we had in Bangkok.
I guess it used to be an office or something cause the ceiling looks like office type ceilings.
Yawn man. Super tired. we met up with suhan the couple and went of for dinner.
Took us quite some time to settle down cause we don't know what to have and where.
And of course we can't really decide, especially me and Csaba.
BAD BAD BAD. I KNOW. AHAHAH.

In the end we stopped by a English looking pub/ thai restaurant, The Old Fish Market.
Funny. HAHAHA. The asian, maybe Thai girl is so cheerful and sunny looking, love her!
Another funny thing, they have a dinner set served in japanese bento box, thai food in bento box in a
English pub looking restaurant. What a fusion XD

霉梦

四天里我三天都有噩梦。

最经常梦到的是牙齿松弛，然后掉落。
平常时一颗，前天是两颗，一起掉。
满嘴是血，多恶心，味道多么臭腥。

昨天我梦见自己的四肢有着一点点的霉。
当触碰到这些像面包霉一样的东西后霉会突然不见，
留下红色的斑点。
我在梦里披着被单，穿着睡衣，着急地四处找我的老师。
这所“学校”很先进，有点像飞船，space ship, mother board那样,weird。
我在梦里的那种恐惧感没法形容。

多么恶心。我身体在发霉。

keyword : mold, fungus on skin, teeth loss.

I did some research about it. Yeah.
Now I see how my self esteem affects myself.

Seeing psychiatrist

让它随风而去。

不要紧张，这个人叫Csaba，不是我男朋友还是爱人什么的。

这个25岁的hungarian是我其中一位知音者，音乐方面，

平时都蛮长联络，但通常都是中午因为他要上班，我要做功课。

这个人瘦到我顶不顺，很够力，他比我还轻呢。

为什么我们那么谈得来？因为我们很像。

很明显不是外表身形，是性格很像。

很多方面，我们都蛮孤僻的。

其是不是寂寞，是真的喜欢自己一个。

有时候太多人真的应付不来。

8个人对我来说是一个很恐怖的数字，什么多过4／5我都有点怕。

自然反应，我在大队里话不多，真的不像中学，两回事。

我只喜欢参那几个，不多，舒服就好。

最近我真的很不喜欢出去。好久没看见我的同学了。

有些3个星期没看见了。有些1－2个月。

最近都是自己行动，最多和一个朋友走走，2个朋友站着谈天。

不懂？就是没什么想要出去，没什么想要说话。

Csaba很有压力，他有anxiety depression,他最近也乖乖的去看心理医生。

很好，看心理医生对我来说没什么，我觉得我以后也需要。

聊着聊着我也发觉到他说话有点慢，动作也是，根据了解他的问题的确能影响他的做事速度。

认识他后我觉得原来不只是我会这样，我们脾气还蛮像的。

我们的aura很像，calm咯。对别人说我们可能很平淡，无聊，无趣，木。

我自己都觉得别人会这样觉得。

我觉得我和他比起来我比较有活力，我不在很多人面前会这样，

很明显少数人可一看到我有活力的一面，因为我只能在

少数朋友面前自信。

没错我很自卑。

我不喜欢拍照，我不喜欢和男生一块，因为无论怎么样我都会觉得我

是那个最难看的，最不讨人喜欢的那个。

哼。家人都常常说我胖，没有人不说我。（最近姐姐们都没怎样，是我父母亲戚罢了）

我前男友因为我的样貌而有了第三者。

我的男性朋友们都很自率，虽然有时不直接但我是到他们觉得我不漂亮不苗条。

对待我的态度真的不怎么好，大多数是美女优先。

帮别的女生搬东西都不帮我，这多伤人？

你要我怎么自信？你要我怎么smile forever当作没看见没听见？

说过人肥婆的，请你认真想想你的这两个字有多么强大。

说过人丑的，请你看清楚被你说的人的眼神，人家是真的不介意，还是假装坚强而已。

你觉得讽刺不怎么样，开玩笑而已，但是有多少个人会真的不介意？

我和他聊着聊着，他开始觉得我也应该何人谈谈 － 见心理医生。

我知道。其实我有些问题我不大跟人说，但我知道我需要这方面的治疗。

不是我夸大，是我终于了解我的需要。和专业人士谈心不好吗？学校免费，更好。

趁我还在读书最要用尽这里的设备，给那么多钱就要这样做。

不用担心，我不会了结生命，我也许比较笨但是没那么蠢。

绝对，绝对不会。

和这个人在一起我不会觉得那么自卑，因为他也很自卑。

我们也是极度矛盾的人，没想到他也是如此。

不懂？我就觉得他好像我的分身。我看见他，就等于看见自己。

我才发觉到原来我给人感觉原来是那么一回事。

原来我那样子会让关心我的人担心。

原来自卑的人那么容易被人击败，那么软弱。

Sketchbook

/// Moody ///


OH i miss you.

Flo

/// FLO ///

受惊

suddenly.
我又再一次受惊。

和我同年的好多人嫁掉了。
开玩笑！！！！！！
太快了吧？！
那么多人22岁就嫁了！！！

我觉得我不到25，26 绝对不嫁。
哈哈哈哈哈！
说不定我没机会嫁。好难说。

Morning

Yogurt as breakfast.
I love the packaging a lot, makes me feel happy.
So I bought YEO. HAHAHAHA.
Yeo yeo yeoooogurt.

Misty morning.

/// Morning ///



The weather here is really unpredictable.
It can be hot today but super cold tomorrow, from sunny to cloudy, warm to super cold.
Me and David had a plan, a kitchen sale.
Selling our unwanted cloths, some goods to earn some money.
I think I am gonna gather some cloths and sell, maybe create some crafts or posters to sell as well.
It would be great! (hopefully)

I should actually sleep now in order to enjoy the morning views.
Insomnia kind of invade my life this few days...
I can't sleep. And almost everyday I will wake up after a weird nightmare-ish dream.
Maybe not that horrified but it's something bad. Every last dream is bad.
I don't understand.
Let's put this aside. This month, I want to finish most of my meat cause I stored them
in the freezer for quite some time. Need to be eaten as soon as possible.

As you who reads my blog will know I am quite anti-social this 2 weeks.
HAHA seriously, I felt good. AHAHAH.
I can do whatever I want.
Cause sometimes I simply cannot pick up certain people's phone.
I will avoid for no reasons.
I'm not so sure what is this feeling but it happened 2 years ago.
Sometimes I really don't know what I said can hurt people.
My bf bought this up yesterday, about my comment for my ex bf.
Something like " maybe you can win me if you dress up as a girl".
I thought it's a joke, not even thinking about sarcasm, it's a plain statement.
My bf kind of read it as a sarcastic reply, as a guy I believe my ex would read it as sarcasm too.
Geez, I never wanted to be so bad you know, and I really didn't know it can be translated like that:
you're gay, you're sissy. But I really didn't mean anything.
My buddha. Hope he don't mind.
Recently I've been trying to avoid some mates of mine, not you ee suen don;t think so much,
it's someone else. One thing about me is :
When I find someone pretentious, I will start to feel uncomfortable.
I need a long time to get over this, feel guilty, feel sorry for labeling someone as a pretentious person,
let the feeling fade away then only I can start everything again.
I am afraid of this kind of people.
Honesty is important to me. That's why I can't really hide things from anyone,
I will split out my dirty secrets to my family and friends.
Cause it feels bad to hide, and it's so hard to lie, create stories.
Haha good for my boyfriend!!!

2 weeks Easter Break sounds long but it is really short.
Just realized that I have staying in Uk for 7 months, my student visa is ending soon.
Feels so short, time flies yeah, too quickly, I couldn't catch up this speed.
I want to stay longer, cause I haven't finish appreciating the culture and arts here.
Not enough time and cash to explore.
I am going to the mall to look for jobs tomorrow.
Hopefully I can get a part time. :)

(food saving plan starts now, muahaha)

Sketches

I like my previous coke can calligraphy pen better.
I got no idea where is it right now.
Been experimenting.... for Major Project.

Been doodling for project 3.
HAHAHAHAHA.
Unfinished doodle.

语言

和我男朋友开始后我就觉得马来文其实很可爱，

来到英国后更喜欢我们马来西亚的语言。

真的很colorful in it's own way.

独一无二，非常棒。

一开始在这里会觉得不好意思，我们说的英文是rojak,

也尽量调整自己的英文，不多说lo, la 之类的rojak.

但是其实我认识的老外都很好奇我们的manglish.

也还有人说我们的manglish很酷喔！

有时候很看人咯，面对不同人有不同的说话方式。

我喜欢听来自各国的语言，你不觉得很神秘吗？

这种感觉很良好。听不明白但是很想多听一些。

我经常叫我的flatmate说说法语，叫一些来自不同国家的朋友造句，

说给我听。哈哈哈哈哈。

当听见不认识的语言，我觉得就能够完全欣赏他的“声音”，

发音，音调，节奏等。

当你认识某种语言时你就不能够纯粹地欣赏他的“声音”了，

因为你在思考每个句子每个字的含义，就算是在听别人对话，

你都是在analyze，不是听声音。

我比较喜欢听声音。

我在讲什么？

对不起表达能力非常弱，有时真的不懂得用于言表达。哈哈！

昨天我还蛮被扎到（zadou）。

因为csaba说如果他不看着我的脸他会觉得他在和黑人说话。

有没有哦。。。。。。。。。。。。。

他说我的声音有时很低很沉，然后有时有点hiphop。

我有示范manglish, 他说很黑人。

真的假的？！好新鲜。

我楼下住这一黑人，但是好像。。有点不同。。。

不像manglish咯。。。AHAHAHA！！

很好笑。个人啦。

Google Map pokemon

/// Pokemon ///


It's actually a boring thing.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
I thought it would be fun. But actually you can just catch it easily.
But it's so cute!!!!

Yesterday my boyfriend and I created a new word - Meowything.
Meow-ry-thing = Every meow thing = every my thing (everything about me)
How to use it : I would love to know meowything.

AHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA.
Applies only between us.
So cute. AHAHA everyone knows I have this meow language going on
with my boy. Since 3 years ago. HAHAA