Last day of 2013

I decided to have my dinner in my room, alone, watching movies like
normal Friday night.
Cause I am afraid of the crowd.

It sounds mundane, or maybe it is mundane.

It's a gift, for me to be here in a foreign country.
And I have to take the challenge of living alone.
Recently, I have realized that this gift, is not as simple as I thought.
I miss my family so much.
Also my boyfriend.

Very very much, I miss him so much.

Being single in this country alone, doesn't feel that sad and lonely,
at least you'll chin up and hope to get a new man/lady for new year.
Perhaps got hooked up with someone and sleep through the night or
get drunk with smelly friends, ended up sleeping with your own vomit.
I can't sense the mood, the new year mood.
Am I the one who felt like this?

I have him, but he's not with me physically.
And this is really a torture.
What a mess, I look at myself and my room,
feeling lifeless, feeling lonely.
I hope he is with me right now, or my family, I wish I am home, bugging everyone saying
the same old statement happy new year, round and round.

Here, I can totally understand what the old man said,
money can't bring you happiness.
I have things I want and need, but no family and boyfriend around me.
It made so much difference.
Mum will be here in UK for a few days, but not my dad and sis, and him.
It's so incomplete, but what else can I ask for? It is enough, it's more than enough.
What is going on to me, this is not the right time to feel sad man.
It's new year, 2014 is almost here.
SIGH!!!!!

Couples kissing hugging loving each other makes me think of him.
I miss you so much. How have you been?
So many months to go, I don't feel like going back somehow.
Stupid politics. Whatever.
But I have to go back, for my family and him.
Or maybe to do something for my country even though it's just a little?

I miss watching movies we downloaded on my laptop, in my room in the dark.
AIH!!!! SO MANY THINGS I CAN'T DO RIGHT NOW!!!!
I AM FEELING SO FRUSTRATED.

If I am in Dublin, I will totally swig off a glass of Guinness right now.
Not sure why, but this place make me feel like hanging out in bars, drinking beer.
If I have chance to visit Ireland again, I will make sure I'm rolling on the
green green field, having a cup of tea while sketching the village houses.
What a relaxing idea.

Back. to. reality. girl.

Time for assignments.