Deep of Thoughts

Sigh.
The world is ugly..
and,
Humans..
The ugliest living thing in the earth.

And I found that..
Tears are words the heart can't express.

I find myself getting increasingly irritated with aspects of the community, and by extension irritated with myself.
I'm tired of the people who think that they are good and talented in something means they are ready to charge people for half-assed crap.
I'm tired of replying crappy messages when I'd rather reply one thought-out comment or something.
I'm tired of protecting myself with some words and actions that sounds stupid.
I'm tired of the people who use words or any spectacular ways to hurt and kick someone's ass with awful disgusting and indelicate ways.
I'm tired to bother and fix things up although I do care.
I don't want looking at beautiful and interesting photos to feel like a chore.
I'm tired of getting stressed when knowing I'm behind from everyone's streams.

Cacophobia seems to be a more common of a phobia than what I was thinking of.
It is a fear of ugliness, not ugly people, just ugliness in general.
I rarely find things plain ugly myself...in fact,
I can't think of anything now.
This would certainly be a scary phobia to have none the less.

A shadow of what I could be,almost like a ghost.
I feel like there's something inside,
but I don't want to let it out anymore.
I've become to self concious.
I've always been a bit of conformist..
It's just so much easier for me to take the safe route and adapt to things.
But I know that,
by heart I'm a risk taker and I can't be happy living my life like this..




I hope this phase will go,
or perhaps it will never be.