Hoping too much?

I hope you can improve your studies,
ignore and filter those that doesn't benefit you.
I hope you can grow up and be a man,
who protects me and you,
in many ways.
I hope you will think further,
think in a realistic way and plan your future, also our future.
I hope you do what you promised,
do what you need to do,
and stop doing things that waste money and time.
You have to realize you don't have much time and you have many things to consider,
and there's always a chance to lose things from your life.
I hope you can take things seriously and start to plan wisely,
be someone I can rely on, be someone that plans thing for both of us.


I am so far yet so close to you.
I felt like you're always nearby, and I am still worrying about you.
When can I let go of all of this?
Do I need to tell you what I like and dislike directly?
Or should I put it aside and pretend I don't know everything and let you
realize what's the cons of doing all these thing.

Seriously, I hate you staying up for me.
I forking hate it.
Can't you think of your work and your health?
Please, take care of yourself first before taking care of me, I . AM. SERIOUS.


I am almost 21.
I am almost graduating.
It's about time to step out from my room, my university to work, earn money for my future.
Be serious. I am forking serious.


Should I give up stuff that haunts me all these days?
Or should I fight against it and try to change it?


Honestly, I am not loving anyone here or anything that made me change my mind.
I am thinking about all these because I realized I don't have much time on things.
I realized things are getting more and more serious here, and things must be well planned.
Mature. Is what I need.
Here, I can totally focus on my studies, how bout you?
This is my last chance to strike in University, and I hope another side of my life- my relationship,
is stable, well planned, and confident.
I hope you understand our situation, our difficulties, our personalities,
our future. I want you to be independent too.

I don't want m life to screw up man. Seriously hell no.
Balance, is what I need.

I love you, don't get me wrong.
But I want someone that can support me.


If we got through all difficulties except family issues,
I will think twice.
If your parents doesn't wish us to be together, I will choose to leave.
I won't be happy, bahagia, if one of our family's elderly don't agree or dislike our relationship.
It's about future. Our future is important. And their acceptance is one of the core.
If anyone attempt to change me, then I will definitely leave the place,
cause once I accepted it, I will not be myself anymore, and that's not my life is about.
If I know that this sad ending will come, I will find a way to leave.
To make them like me or not? it's on you.
It depends on how you do it dear. It's really on you.
You don't even do what people SHOULD do, what else can I say.
You need me to teach you how to do?

Are you proud to be with me?
Are you proud to talk about me infront of your friends and family?
Ask yourself and give me an answer.

One day, a western DJ, david's friend took his phone and slide his photos of him and his GF,
keep on spreading his love towards his gf, like:
" this is my gf, I am really lucky to have her, she's the best girl i ever met"
I shall say, If my bf is like this man, boy, I am really lucky.

Did you stand up for me?
For our love?
No.
I cry every time talking on this topic.
It haunts me so badly.

If you love me, you feel proud.
Proud to bring me around, introducing me to family and friends.
If you don't feel so, you know the answer.
Tell me what you feel when you see this.