Sunday, December 23, 2012

I really get frustrated with my hair sometimes even I like it short and tidy.
Because. I am jealous of girls having of long hair, playing with their hair.
And men actually like long hair girls more.

What am I talking about.
Sigh.



I'm chasing for something.
I tried to throw this thinking away but I failed in doing that.
Yes yes yes long hair girls are very feminine, beautiful, seductive.
Then? What am I trying to do with myself now?
Because I am not pretty enough so I wanna mimic them in a way?
Is this why I always dreamed of getting a nose job?
Yes and no.

Why can't I feel satisfied for just a day?
A week, a year ?
I am really torturing myself.

自我毁灭。

This phrase concludes me.
The real me. I am doing this to myself everyday.
In everything. I am unable to satisfy myself.

9 comments:

chin mun said...

gel, we are similar in this. i love long hair, n i thk long hair is really nice..wana be like others who hv long curly hair. but my hair keep on dropping , n i'm lazy to tc of it. finally. i'm having a short hair again. eh, u look AWESOME with ur short hair!(for real) ni shi zhui hao de!

chin mun said...

ni zhi dao ma?

Angel said...

I dont know. I feel that having long hair is too normal but sometimes. I don't know, I kind think that people will like me more bcoz of my long hair appearance. People say don't care about others and I am trying to do so. Im like.. Trying to be somebody that can be accepted by all. I am just trying to blend in everyone. I am stupid but i cannot help it, I canot stop thinking about long and short hair thing. I just couldnt satisfy myself.

Angel said...

Haiz. I duno.. I think hair dropping can be fixed?

chin mun said...

it can be fix? how? lol
i thk i know what u mean..heiizzz..somtimes its tiring to follow other's culture.. i'm suffering too.. wish we could get out from it n let it go..

aManda said...

wellll....girls.....juz be urself....kay.????
Be proud of wat u are....
seriously,angel I love ya hair leh....haha.....:)....cheersss....:)

Angel said...

U can search up some ways to overcome it, food affects also, maybe you eat too masin? Sleeping late also affects.

Yeah, the current fashion culture influences our aesthetic preference and media is always another main big boss in spreading the culture, not only big fashion houses and editors. A part of us, we alsywas wanted to be fashion forward, prettier and more acceptable. But another part of us is asking us to be real, be ourself. But how many of us can do that? I am still trying to make this happen. I do feel tortured by all these sometimes too. It;s impossible to ask u to let it go, I've been asking myself to do that for years.

Thanks amanda, sighhhh... Be proud? it's so hard for me.

Angel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chin mun said...

ok... lets do it! thx!